A Client Naveda Made an Impact On

Sometimes all it takes is one question, and the most carefully crafted self defense systems can come crashing down. 

When The Woman first booked an appointment at Be Agape with me, she was picture perfect: polished and a reserved smile on her face. The meeting started with niceties, weather and small talk about the same cursory feelings we all have. When asked how she was feeling, she answered the way we all do— I’m fine. 

She had big dreams for herself, continuing her education on top of personal responsibilities as a mother, daughter, wife and professional. The Woman’s face lit up as she talked about it all. The many facets of her life clearly brought her joy, so it begged the question— why was she here? 

She said she felt like she needed therapy. As soon as I pushed for details, she got quieter. I asked if she opened up to anyone else about her struggles, she got quieter still.  She said the growing pressures of her life were causing her to no longer recognize the face in the mirror. Increasing hours spent crying by herself made her realize that she was carrying more than she was equipped to shoulder alone. 

When we are faced with clients who recognize that they need help, but shut down when the help is offered, we are trained to turn to the Socratic method. Open ended questions are the best way to have a client open up without feeling like they are under the microscope. Simple asks like, “How are things at home?“ can seem innocuous at first but often lead the client to describing the intimate details of their life. 

Once the client has started to open up, cognitive exploration takes us the rest of the way. A simple word, “why,” can do so much heavy lifting. When faced with having to explain thought patterns or actions, the client can be thrust into self reflection and reveal a pattern they would not have noticed on their own. 

In a more recent session, The Woman was as light and casual as the first day we met. She kept the conversation surface level about her professional experiences. It was as though the issues we had spoken about prior had disappeared. So naturally, I asked her how things have been going at home. As soon as the question registered, she froze and replied calmly about how she and her husband had a disagreement that turned ugly, and the tears welled in her eyes. She confessed that he was trying to avoid talking about the incident altogether, but when faced with it head on, knew she had to open up.

I leveled with her and said, It is okay to be strong, but being vulnerable is a strength too. We spoke about how she could start to find empowerment in advocating for herself. She understands that she can open up in this safe space, but learning to do the same in her relationships is the goal from here.

If you are ready to start your healing journey with Naveda let us know. You can email us at hello@beagape.org or call 929-234-1697.